To defy the laws of tradition

Top 5 Reasons why blogs are always cres.

2007-11-03T04:25:00.000-07:00

1. Blogs are like...fondue - they are so great.

2. Without blogs, where would we be now?

3. You say 'blog' - we say "minature universe". Oh, how We want to be a blog, so footloose and fancy free...

4. My, blogs really are full of Things!

5. Blogs are like checkbooks - people either smile or cry when they read them.

Come back bloggers!
--marty

Not a single fucking one

2007-11-03T03:05:00.000-07:00

no one has defyed the laws for a whole fucking year. FUCK THE SYSTEM

5 best sports drink flavours

2006-02-24T23:27:00.000-08:00

1.Orange powerade (wallably gold rush)
2.Green gatorade (kiwi crush)
3.Red gatorade (fierce berry)
4.Yellow gatorade (lemon/lime)
5.blue gatorade (don't no what flavour it is and only put it on here becasue it was the last one i could think of)

Have a good day and keep well hydrated
Dav

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover. (.....not really.)

2005-12-04T01:23:00.000-08:00

1. Just slip out the back, Jack.

2. Make a new plan, Stan.

3. You don't need to be coy, Roy.

4. Just get yourself free.

5. Hop on the bus, Gus, you don't need to discuss much.

6. Just drop off the key, Leigh.

7.....And get yourself free.

I dunno why i wrote this....too much Simon & Garfunkel, methinks....
--marty

Top 5 'naughty business' songs..

2005-11-29T02:50:00.001-08:00

OK these are either singing about sex or give off a porno-sorta vibe...

5. R.x.r.a - "Little Light Of Love". (its all because of the Fifth Element ending scene)

4. B-52's - "Love Shack".

3. Death Cab For Cutie - "We Looked Like Giants". (the line "i braved those mountain passes, you skipped your early classes, and we learnt how our bodies worked" is soooooo...daymn)

2. George Benson - "Feel Like Making Love".

1. Marvin Gaye - "Let's Get It On". OOOHhhh yeah. Only Marvin-Man could croon with those booty-shakin' slow funk beats, complete with "wee-wah" guitar. Magic.

top 10 reasons why no-one visits blogs (or this blog) anymore

2005-11-22T00:05:00.000-08:00

10. The internet isnt really the happening place to be

9. Everyone has social lives

8. Starbucks has made a new blogging system to overpower and ruin the'blog' buisness, its called 'starblog'

7. Looking out of windows on lonely nights seems to be the 'in' fashion down north

6. Everyone has gigs, except for me... :(

5. Because Bad Brains are holding an 18 day nonstop concert at my house

4. Everyones either playing tibia or well of souls

3. Why blog when theres a backyard full of cats to throw stuff at?

2. Ned and Stacey is now on every sunday at 5

1. Everyones getting high instead

These really should be ice cream flavours

2005-10-25T03:19:00.000-07:00

Ok, Bulla, peters streets, all of you ice cream people, if oyu get this, i want some payment! Anyway this is a list of ice cream flavours that arent ice cream flavours but relly should be ice cream flavours.

10. Fairy Floss - probably already exists but i guess it would be the sweetest thing in
the world

9. Orange Sherbert - As long as it fizzes when you lick it

8. Fererro Rocher - Just crush em up and put em in the freezer, cant go wrong

7. Snozberry - "The snozberries taste like snozberries" say no more

6. Frozen Peas - You ever eaten them straight out of the packet? I have and its great!

5. Chocolate German Crepe - You really have to go to getmany to experience this one, I ate 30 in one breakfast

4. Chocolate Cake - And the moist kind too, not the dry horrible stuff Aunty Beatrise brings to our family functions either

3. Amanda Vadstone - Wouldnt taste good, but this is the only way i can think of to make an ice cream that she couldnt sample

2. Corn flakes - Breakfast after dinner!? Sam Regester says "Yes Please"

1. Cookie Dough - It amazes me that such a tasty treat isnt already over taking vanilla

Top 10 albums i either own or have heard

2005-10-20T01:18:00.000-07:00

I had to do a top 10 album list sometime or another, becuz i love my albums and you should too. Here 'tis:

10. Less Than Jake- Hello Rockview

This is a cool album if you want to lift your spirit. It works if you are into ska, trust me. Some may be familiar with the classic song, 'All My Best Friends Are Metalheads'.

9. The Doors- self titled

The debut album from a classic band of the 60's. The Doors are widely known, this album is widely known, i just happen to have it in my collection, though it was very dusty when i found it. A lot of you may have heard 'Break on through', but i looove 'Take it as it comes'.

8. Rage Against The Machine- self titled

One album that will stay in my favourites for a long time. Only ten songs, and it has some guy on the cover on fire. Greatest moments of this album include 'bombtrack', 'take the power back', 'know your enemy' and 'freedom'. I love rage, this ones for YOU beefus.

7. Blink 182- The Mark Tom and Travis show

Not only a great live punk album, but a great comedy album. This album was sold for a limited time only, i got it as soon as i could. My favourite song on this album would have to be 'Dammit', because they play it reeeally well.

6. The Beatles- The White Album

THE BEATLES ROCK! My parents have like every beatles album, but i own this one. Its got all their classics, like 'Back in the USSR', 'Obla-di-obla-da', 'Everybodys got something to hide except me and my monkey', yes the beatles are crazy.

5. Spiderbait- The Unfinished Spanish Galleon of Finley Lake

Spiderbait were my favourite band until they went commercial, but this is one of their first albums and im still in love with it after about 5 or 6 years. It's not widely known, but it has some great and odd songs, and the best are definantly 'Who are the freemasons?' and 'Jesus'. If you're sick of hearing Black Betty, GOOD WORK, you should check out their old stuff, its pretty insane.

4. The Cure- Standing on a beach

The Cure's very own 'best of', and standing on a beach is actually the first lyric you hear on the album from the intro song 'killing an arab'. I love the cure, always will. '10:15 saturday night' still amazes me to this day.

3. Regurgitator- Tu-plang

Regurgitator's debut album. Isnt it funny how with most bands, their earliest shit is the best? Hmm interesting. Anyway, this album was recorded in Bangkok, and the thai writing on their front cover translates to 'Jukebox music for sick vomiting people'. This is an all-time classic in alternative music, and a major influence on me and my hidden insanity. The greatest listens are 'G7 dick electro boogie', 'F.S.O' and 'Kong Foo Sing'.

2. Beastie Boys- Pauls Boutique

Beastie Boys will always be one of my most admired and fabourite bands. They are all musical masterminds (believe it or not) and this was the last beastie boys album i bought, finishing my collection. This actually turned out to be the best rap/funk album i ever heard, and was mightily impressed with the lyrics that they wrote. I would pick out one line of lyrics to write, but theres too much quality to choose from.

1. Primus- Suck On This

One day i looked through the JB-Hifi brochure and i saw this EP listed with all the other crap cds. It said 'SALE!!! 9 BUCKS!!" I was like "Hmmm, i dont really know Primus all that well except for the fact that they did the south park theme song... i might buy it!!!" So i took it home, listened to it, and it was the greatest moment of my life.

This wasnt actually an album, but Primus's debut EP. This was a two day recording, consisting of the three piece band, and every song has impossible basslines. Slap bass at its best, creativity at its most, quality at its highest. If i had never bought this album and heard 'John the fisherman', Groundhog's day', 'Jellikit', 'Pudding time' or 'Tommy the cat', i would have never started learning bass.

top 10 things you can do with a saucepan (in no particular order)

2005-10-14T22:25:00.000-07:00

1. Where it on your head (popular with young boys as a KNIGHTS helmet)

2. Fill it with mud and make mud pies

3. use it as an instrument (i.e drum, just to anoy the parents)

4. see if you can slide down a hill with your feet in one (preferably a bigger one, maye you'll be able to fit your bum in it, and preferably a sliipery grass hill)

5. cook greasy disgusting food in it.

6. use it to make playdo, always a good one, especially once the playdo is made??

7. use the bottom as a mirror ( popular with vein young girls)

8. use it to smack someone over the head (probably not something you should try tho)

9. number nine doesnt exist.

10. cook nice soup in it.. (i dunno???)

i dont know why i wrote this

Top 10 WEIRDEST song lyrics (heh good...)

2005-10-12T02:27:00.000-07:00

This'll be interesting...

10. Oh i'd like to hold her....head UNDERWATER! - Doin' Time by Sublime. This always amuses me, it first sounds like a love song, but then he's like "i'd like to kill her" heh. Sublime are some crrazzzy druggies.

9. San Fransisco Bay, the striped bass are dying/But you're gonna get that brand new bike, oh joy - Pudding Time by Primus. This one's for you Jim.

8. We are the DOGGY DOGGY DOGS/Woh we are the DOGGY DOGGY DOGS/Arrroooooo.... - Doggy Dog by The Seatbelts. These guys are full of weird lyrics, but this song is just TOO weird. Great percussion though.

7. Y'know what's in the water that ya drink?/Well I do, it's amazing! - It's A Jungle Out There by Randy Newman. This is the new Monk theme song, and looking over it again, its not THAT weird, but the way Randy sings it just sounds weird.

6. I'll call for pizza, i'll call my cat/Call the Whitehouse, have a chat!/I'll place a call around the world, Operator - get me Beijing-jing-jing-jing! - Banana Phone by Raffi. This song is heaven for amusing and strange words, this is probably my favourite lyric.

5. I look back on where I'm from/And look at the woman I've become - Wig In A Box by The Polyphonic Spree. It's weird because a male sings it.

4. Mr. Doo, it's nice to meet you Mr. Doo/It's nice to beat you up too, wow!/Do-do-do, wow!/Do-do-do! - Mr. Doo by Gus & Frank. These guys are an indie rock group from Melbourne, and they've hit the bigtime (sort of). They're funny as.

3. It looks like it's so far so bad, so bad/this song is Rad!/uh...you can ask your Dad.../He won't be mad!/This song is stupid! - So Far, So Bad by Five Iron Frenzy. Another band of the Ska genre that are masters at musical comedy.

2. She said the man in the galvadeer suit was a spy/I said "Be careful, his bowtie is really a camera". - America by Simon & Garfunkel. This is one of my favourites; random lyrics at their best.

1. He told me he worked in the morning and started to laugh/I told him i didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath. - Norwegian Wood by The Beatles. The ultimate random song, i reckon they must've been on quite a lot of the happy-gas at this point in their careers. Hilarious, but also a very catchy song.

Worst Movies I've ever had to watch with my Mum

2005-10-08T03:58:00.000-07:00

OK, this is a list of the worst movies/tv shows ive ever been forced to watch with my mum.

10. Midsomer Murders - starring old people who kill each other, they are going to die soon enough anyway, and they kill because they are forgetfull too. Bad Bad BAD

9. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days - A quote from my Mum after enduring terrible cringe rashes during the movie. "It wasnt so bad now was it, I saw you laugh" Yes mum, I did laugh, because i remembered what movie I was watching.

8.Prizzi's Honour - How on Earth does this fit under 'comedy' in the Vidoe Ezy Archives.

7. Pretty Woman - Not suprisingly, this list is studded with performances from Julia Roberts, the shitty movie queen

6. The Bill - Once a decent show, now its crap, even mum agrees with me on this one.

5. Bridget Jones' Diaries - Starring Renee Smelldigger. One of the worst romantic comedies i've ever seen. Even this abominable genre should be ashamed of this shamble.

4 Bridget Jones' Diaries 2 - Theres only one thing worse than a bad romantic comedy, a bad romantic comedy sequel

3. Miss Congeniality - An utter peice of crap, an ungraceful detective goes undercover to do something in a beauty contest.

JOINT WINNERS : Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensability!! Two of Mums period dramas she so dearly loves but at the same time, THE WORST SHOWS I HAVE EVER WATCHED

Top 10 screw-ups in history

2005-10-08T00:07:00.000-07:00

1. Flat-bottomed tacos- tacos are a sacred tradition, NO-ONE RUINS THE TACO TRADITION!

2. Dire Straights (the band)

3. Dharma and Greg

4. The day Jennifer Lopez started acting

5. The time Beef unleashed the ape into the white house....ah, memories

6. Major commercialism (examples: crazy frog, music tv shows that tell you what to listen to)

7. Master of Disguise (the shittest movie i've ever attempted watching, starring Dana Harvey who plays Garth in Waynes world)

8. Torch guitars (i used to own one, i sold it to Stu for 80 bucks)

9. Hitler

10. The blue stuff i drink everyday. It almost gave me food poisoning on two occasions.

This list was requested by BEEF himself, and if anyone wants to have an opinion, please leave comments. I have to go eat my shoe.

>jimsy

The 10 movies/tv shows my life can be like.

2005-10-05T04:17:00.000-07:00

In no particular order...

1. High Fidelity.
In this movie, John Cusack narrates his own life and frequently makes "Top 5" lists, such as "Top 5 songs from the 80s that were about love", and "Top 5 things i love about Laura" (his main girlfriend, which incedentally the movie is based around). He owns a record store, in which his coworkers are an over-enthusiastic rocker, played by Jack Black, and a quiet but intelligent achiever, played by the bald guy from Just Shoot Me. The movie is about his life, his loves, his pain and his joy. It's all so real, its unbelievable.

2. Love Actually.
This movie is fantastic: all my favourite British actors appear in it. Funnily enough, it's got pretty much nothing to do with all the relationship problems and love and all that, but just the irony of it all. Comedy plays a huge part in my life, so does love, and this is the moulding of the two in a nice fuzzy sandwich.

3. Poltergeist.
Though i've never fully seen this movie, i know about poltergeists, and i swear there's something strange in my house. Too often i get this feeling of not being alone, even when i am, and i hear weird sounds that sound eerily like dragging feet, and breathing and stuff. Maybe it's just all in my head...

4. Saving Private Ryan.
At lunchtimes and recess, there's a constant war being fought between certain members of the gang. Food is thrown at ball-breaking consistency and with excellent marksmanship. The area where we are is like a warzone, and i'm sure a lot of you guys know what i'm talking about (specially DD when we got assaulted by a variety of foodstuffs the other day...).

5. Cowboy Bebop.
Sometimes i just feel like a laidback kinda soul man like Spike Spiegel. He's lazy, which i am, and he's got this sense of style about him, which i dont think i always have but im stylish in my own eerie way. AND he likes food, like me.

6. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.
This classic Jack Nicholson comedy is about a mental institution; now i'm relating this movie to one person in particular, by the name of Ms. Zylan. The way she goes about her life and her teaching methods truly astound me. I'm sure she would think the "nice men in white coats" were just taking her to get her regular doctor's check up, not to be locked up in a looney bin, where she would cause no more trouble in the world. Weirdo. God, i hate that woman.

7. The O.C.
This is a common one, everyone knows the deal with this show. I'm sure this pop-culture smash has changed the lives of teens around the globe. It sure has changed our group, but i think that's just the way it works, whether we like it or not.

8. Lost In Translation.
Probably my favourite movie of all time, this is the classic tale of love found in the most unexpected place, but when needed most. Subtle humor abound in this film, all of it fantastic and just my coopa' tea, and plus I am in love with Japan.

9. The Muppet Show.
Yeah, i reckon the gang could be compared with Muppets. There's so freakin' many of them after all. If i had to say what muppet i was, i'd probably say Rowlf the dog, who plays masterful piano and makes lots and lots of puns and lame jokes. But maybe that's not for me to decide, anybody care to suggest what muppet i would be like?

10. Not Another Teen Movie.
This one's dedicated to the men. Good times never stop rolling with the guys, we just love our full frontal comedy and laugh-out-freakin'-loud funny shit. It's all good, and if you get offended, that's your fuckin' problem.

--marty

Top 10 punk and ska songs EVER

2005-10-02T00:58:00.000-07:00

Aloha, this list may be ARGUED OVER by many individuals, but hell, this is what i've come up with and im VERY tired and my mind is not focused. But hey, its punk, who gives a shit, right?

1. Blitzkreig Bop- Ramones
The ultimate in punk, probably the most original and most probably, one of the first punkish songs ever... i think... oh well, this song changed a lot of things is what i'm saying.
2. Last Caress- the Misfits
One of my most favourite songs of all time, and one of the best songs ever written, though lyrics may offend (i've got something to say i killed you baby today) and yeah.
3. Too much too young- The Specials
A long ska song, a very good one. The tune was stuck in my head for weeks...enjoy.
4. White riot- The Clash
I dont see whats so good about this song, but everyone rants about it so YEAH here 'tis, #4.
5. God save the queen- Sex Pistols
You cant have a punk list without god save the queen, or anything from Sex Pistols. My mates dad is a sex pistol addict, funny shit that is.
6. The KKK took my baby away- Ramones
Another classic, i love this one. Should be at the top of the list somewhere, but Blitzkreig Bop rules all.
7. Everything goes numb- Streetlight Manifesto
A great ska song from a classic ska band. Original ska at its best.
8. Magnetic North- Less Than Jake
LESS THAN JAKE!!! WOO! They're not one of the greatest, but i had to put this fuckn brilliant and godly song in the list somewhere. A ska/punk tune, enjoy.
9. Bob- NoFX
Some GREAT lyrics in this song, about some alchoholic guy riding around on a scooter. If you listen to punk, you'll know this one. If not, well, go back to your shanty.
10. Roots radical- Rancid
Not everyone is into rancid, but me and my mate were obsessed with this song for weeks and i just remembered it at the last minute. The song makes no sense, but its punk what do you expect.

Fix up look sharp eh my fellows
>jim

Saturday, saturday, saturday.

2005-09-30T18:34:00.000-07:00

Jim, this is an awesome idea. I got the email and everything, but if you could just be a darlin' and tick the Admin box in the blog settings under "Members"....that way im a full member and i can edit the layout of the blog and stuff if we want.
But i love this! The idea of a blog about nothing and everything. I too am finding it increasingly difficult to blog "normally". As with you jim, im not giving up on my beloved Mushroom Hunting 101, but this will give me a nice new fresh of breath air....breath of fresh air, sorry.

So i will commence with 10 things i love to do on a Saturday, not necessarily in order of prefrence.
Has anyone seen that movie, High Fidelity with John Cusack? This kinda reminds me of that.

1. Sleep in til lunchtime, and skip lunch for breakfast.
2. Watch daytime TV, which includes shows such as Dr. Phil and midday movies such as "The Indian In The Cupboard".
3. Sit on the keys and improvise.
4. Lie face-up on my bed and listen to Chick Corea.
5. Read scary stories (they're much less scarier in daylight).
6. Have a shower.
7. Write stuff; lyrics, poetry, stories, anything that feeds off my imagination.
8. Talk to Lucy over the phone.
9. Play a decent videogame...i'm really getting into Resident Evil at the moment.
10. Check my blog for comments and check emails and stuff.

Yeah i know, it's pretty boring and uneventful, but I like my off-days laid back and slow. Mellow out.
--marty

Introduction to the new insanity

2005-09-30T16:11:00.000-07:00

Aloha!
This is my second blog now, and i plan to get some of YOU suckers to join me in this. What is this all about you ask? Well, every so often i (and others) will post a list of TOP 10 ANYTHING. It could be top 10 music, top 10 movies etc etc.
Don't worry, i will still continue 'extra coffee with my cream' but the concept of ordinary blogging gets too ordinary for my likings. And what better way to start off the blog with:

TOP 10 BASS PLAYERS (that ever lived)

10. Cliff Lee Burton
Umm 'the mettalica guy'. 'Sall you need to know.

9. Tim Commerford
Rage Against The Machine bassist, does some awesome slap bass in 'take the power back'. I picked this guy out SPECIFICALLY for my man beefus.

8. Roger *unknown*
The bass player for Less Than Jake, and i havent the slightest clue what his last name is. Very good work on that bass, check out anything from LTJ. I love this shit.

7. Steve Harris
Iron Maiden are a very fast band, and this bass player uses three fingers (instead of two) to play. Very good, very good...any song of Iron maiden will show you harris's potential.

6. Matt Freeman
RANCID!!! yeah, i love rancid, great band to get into, and the bassist has been playing everyday of his life since he was 12 or something. An obvious 'check-out' song is 'maxwell murder', eh marty? this has one of the best solos i've ever heard...

5. James Jamerson
It's hard to tell whether this guy is one of the best, because the band "Funk Brothers" hardly released any albums... but theres this song called 'fever in the funk house' which i've been obsessed with for quite some time, GET IT. Funk-ey.

4. Chris Squire
This guy played in a very skilled band called 'Yes'. Practically everyone in this band were kings of their instruments, and Squire was one of them. I havent heard much of this guy, but apparently 'roundabout' has some good bass in it.

3. John Entwistle
Bassist of The Who and one of the best that ever lived. He doesnt much show his full potential, but there is this song called "5-15 bass solo" or something. Very fast, very old....

2. Flea
You can't have a bass list without flea thrown at the top (or bottom, whatever). He was once known as the king of slap for red hot chilli peppers, and i think he still is....meh. Check out 'nobody weird like me' and 'blackeyed blonde' for some awesome slap riffs.
1. Les Claypool
Well, he is god after all. He is the bass player for one of my most favourite bands of all time, PRIMUS. He is a bass legend and taught himself everything he knows, and his hobbies (in his own words) are "masterbation and fishing". If you want to hear his full potential, check out the slap bass riffs in 'tommy the cat', 'jerry was a race car driver' and 'the awakening'.

Well thats all i got, stay tuned for the next issue and THANKS FOR READING even though you didnt.

hail rasta
>jim